Grand Slam. Free Breakfast. 820 Calories. 69 grams of (delicious) fat. Its a free breakfast, so don’t get on your high horse you judgmental bastards. And it’s called a Grand Slam…you know, for the sports fan (and the kids!). So, go on 
America! You’ve earned it, ’cause there is nothing more American than two eggs, pancakes, and bacon, all served under the flicker of florescent light. You’ll take your coffee just the way you take your democracy….strong and black*.
* /Obama’d
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