“It takes a brave man to wake up one morning and decide it’s a good day to shave his entire face — save the upper lip. This mustache hair cultivation is, without a doubt, a heroic effort…”
Every school has their traditions. Texas A&M has Yell Practice. Notre Dame has the Helmet Painting. Pitt has Dave Wannstedt’s Moustache. 
Much like Giambi, this year Wannstedt has taken tacky upper lip fur to new heights (as high as #17 this year). Big Dave and Big Dave’s powerful caterpillar lip defy the odds year after year, and continually have a top 25 recruiting class. Well, it appears as though this year it’s finally paid off, with “the little running back that could,” LeSean “Shady” McCoy.
It should provide a tremendous challenge for our defense: Stopping the inside run (driven by McCoy and Stephens-Howling) as well as trying not to admire Wannstedt’s face fur (circa 1986). It’s hard not to get comical about the ‘stache, but at the same time Pitt is a tremendously talented team with a lot of heart (see Derek Kinder).
Structurally the team hasn’t changed much since last season, but taking out WVU the final week of the season (FWG watched with delight) provided the necessary momentum to carry through for a productive off season and in turn an improvement playing football.
OFFENSE:
Up front, Pitt is comprised of some experienced veterans but also a few converted D-Tackles (which means they are obviously more athletic). Ask Downtown Donny Brown, any good running back is nothing without his big uglies up front. Pitt is no different. Taking nothing away from McCoy or Stephens-Howling (they possess the need…the need for speed!) but again, it all starts with good blocking. Also indicative of the heart of this offense is the grit that receiver Derek Kinder has shown returning from a torn ACL. Not only is Kinder a fellow “Upstater” (instant street cred and FWG respect), but also a fine human being (though the bar hasn’t been set very high…pay attention Plaxico).
DEFENSE:
Losing HB Blades means losing the second meanest name in all o
f linebacking (First? Takeo Spikes). However, Scott McKillop seems to have taken over as emotional leader of a stout defense (my utmost respect to any defense that can contain Pat White and Noel Devine). MiKillop is simply a tackling machine. Seriously. A ma-chine. Rated something like the No. 1 linebacker in the nation by ESPN (pre-season). Trust me, the tape shows it too.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
“Giambi’s significant first-half production as well as his powerful lip fur — indicating great intellect and good looks…‘ – American Mustache Institute. Well said. Great intellect and good looks. One major flaw: playing for the Yankees.
The FWG is a huge Buffalo Bills fan. That being said, it is the prediction of the FWG that much like the Yankees, the Bill’s post-season plans include an early off-season.
I can’t grow the ultimate sign of power (and 80’s adult films). I can grow chops, and chin hair, but the upper lip evades me.
The one that every kid my age wore as a winter coat from 1992-1998.
Are you all mustache’d out yet?
HAHAHA! Wannstedt Mustache Appreciation Week. The guy has the perfect “porn mustache.”