The Obligatory Scott Lutrus Post

I knew something wasn’t quite right this bowl trip. I thought it was the “Canadian Fries” (side of gravy please), then I thought it was the currency (FWG missed the memo that those little coins are two dollars a piece…$20 in the wishing well). But then it occurred to me, I’ve been far too kind to my bowl-game roommate and resident All-American (not to mention the Pride of Connecticut) Scott Lutrus.

For those who read (and sometimes enjoyed) last year’s bowl blog, you know that Scott was a frequent target. Either it was his shower-prep-time-routine (jusssst shy of 2 hours), to his vocal rendition of the UConn fight song. Having him as a roommate was comedic gold.

Maybe I’ve matured (I haven’t). Maybe I’ve turned my focus to more important things, more worldly events like global warming and pollution (I definitely haven’t). Maybe I’m too busy posing for pictures with the Rev. Jesse Jackson. (see below)

Whatever the case, the bottom line is that I have been far too kind to Scott thus far.

That’s about to change.

I’m noticing a trend with my dear friend. Every time a beautiful babe comes within 10 yards, his clothes start to get itchy. Very itchy. So much in fact that he has to rip off those cotton threads as quickly as humanly possible. My girlfriend came to visit. Scott takes off his shirt. My Mom comes to the room: Clothes off. My 105 year old great grandmother…there’s Scottye…sans shirt.

I noticed the development of this affliction during our spring break in Mexico. The slightest breeze and Mexican sun would cause Scottie to make like Rico Suave and shed the clothes he apparently loathed like a straight jacket.

Over time, gone untreated, this had lead to chronic-shirtlessness (ask your physician). Even the cold weather climate of Toronto has done nothing to curb this cousin to nudism. Our first night in Toronto found Scott Lutrus, in 15 degree weather (thats Fahrenheit), with the snow covering his torso.

I’ve talked to Scott about this, but you know what…it takes a village. So I now implore all fans of UConn Football to provide Scott with words of encouragement in regaining his shirt-hood. Its all about baby steps, perhaps a tank top there or scarf here to start. So next time you see him, make sure you tell him “Scott…I’m here for you. Please put on a shirt.”

At the end of this blog, I’ll be turning it over to a one-time guest blogger. That’s right, Scott Lutrus will get his shot at revenge. Tune in for that.

Time to beat Buffalo.

-FWG-