FWG Insider Report: How To Properly Size Your Jock Strap

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FWG is running a special series of guest columns from people who work INSIDE the NFL, whether it is for actual teams or high ranking industry officials.  You’ve asked, we’ve answered.  Here are your stories from the inside.

Sorry I’ve been MIA since my critically-acclaimed ESPY’s post.  I’ve been busy with my real job. I work in the industry, so football season for me means your favorite insider is a busy bee. My job is to get the guys ready for game day.  From socks to sandals, my
company provides our contracted athletes with gear (for free) in exchange for supporting the brand on field and off. As the contact for the athletes, I’m charged with making sure they get what they want. Allow me to recount one of the more interesting exchanges I’ve had with a (very famous) NFL Player.

The actual conversation:

*Player :* Do you have yellow underwear you can send me?

*FWG Insider: * Sorry, we don’t make yellow underwear.

*Player:* Ok, how about purple?

[Silence]

* FWG Insider::* Nope, no purple either.

* FWG Insider: *Ok, can you send me 30 pairs of black ones?

*Me:* Yup, no problem.  I’ll just take it off your account.

* FWG Insider: Can you get them here by tomorrow?

[Silence]

* FWG Insider: Yup.

*Player:* Yeah, I just don’t have any clean underwear.
Right.

*Player: *Also, I need a thing…for my junk.

* FWG Insider: *Jock strap?

*Player:* Yeah… I don’t wear compression shorts under my pants.

* FWG Insider::* Ok, no problem.  You want a 2X in that?

*Player:* Yeah, you know I just don’t like my junk to be constricted.

* FWG Insider:* Ok…so 2X, right?

*Player:* [Giggles like a little school girl] You think I’m a 2X, huh?

* FWG Insider: * It goes by waist size, not…other size.

Just a typical day at the office, folks.

Until next time…

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