If you missed Part 1 of The Weekend Recap: The Homer Edition, Check it Out!
Now on to Part 2: The International Edition….
The Laker’s Kobe Bryant is a big soccer fan. So is Pau Gasol. Maybe that explains why the Lakers have taken a dive in the last two weeks. Since the All Star break they had been rolling, then, all of a sudden, some phantom contact has caused them to flop inexplicably to the ground like Ronaldo. Much like the international soccer star, Laker fans are attractive whiners who would rather act well, than have their team play well. So maybe it’s for the best that the Lakers lack of defense has them scheduled for an early playoff exit. After all it’s hard to show up night after night under the bright 
lights of the Staple Center without it undoing some of your Botox.
Of course the Celtics seem hell bent on reaching a similar fate, and our fans aren’t even that attractive.
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I wrote last week (Searching for Hogan-esque Heroes on Sunday) that this year’s Masters wouldn’t be offering the kind of compelling story lines, or the kind of heroes that they had in the past. Well it might not have been as enthralling as Jack Nicklaus in 86, but the 75th Masters definitely worth watching.
Rory McIlroy, the 21 year old prodigy from Northern Ireland, jumped out to an early lead over the weekend. Through Saturday, everyone was marveling at the composure of the young golfer, given the stage he was on.
The rest of the field fell in line behind McIlroy, with no one closer than 4 shots going into Sunday’s final round.
That’s..when..things..got..out..of..control.
Tiger Woods, yes that Tiger Woods, did some scoring on the golf course for a change, and torched the front 9 to be one of eight players with a share of the lead on the back 9. Woods started the day 7 behind McIlroy and seemed poised to make a run at his 5th green jacket when his eagle putt on the 8th dropped him to 10 under. Tiger ran out of gas down the stretch though, and finished in a tie for 4th. The guy may be an ass hole, but Sunday’s at Augusta are a lot more exciting when he is sinking putts instead of putting from the rough with a waitress from Hooters.
Geoff Ogilvy, who rattled off five straight birdies on the back 9 to get into contention, and Luke Donald, who hit the pin with an amazing bunker shot on 18 then chipped in for birdie, joined Woods at -10.
McIlroy shot a 1 over 37 on the front and was still holding onto his lead when he made the turn. Then a triple bogey on 10, a bogey on 11, and a double bogey on 12. Six over for three holes. Lead gone. Green Jacket gone.
Though he finished his round with an 80, 10 shots off the lead, and it will go down as one of the worst collapses in history, I think McIlroy should be proud of himself. After he hooked his tee shot into the water on 13, the commentator remarked, “He just wants to creep away now.” But the 21 year old didn’t creep away. He finished his round with dignity, even giving a classy interview just moments after finishing an 18 that at the start of the day, seemed likely to end with him wearing a Green Jacket.
Rory McIlroy may have watched Phil Mickelson slip the Green Jacket onto Charl Schwartzel’s shoulders but he should feel that he won a little bit by losing on Sunday, and it was the kind of victory that goes beyond a golf course, and beyond a jacket.
While McIroy was fading, Adam Scott, Jason Day, and Charl Schwartzel were charging. Scott and Day, two Australians who had known each other for 8 years, found themselves paired together on Sunday as they made a run at their country’s first Green Jacket. Neither player dropped a shot on the back 9, and for a brief moment Scott had the lead all by himself at -12. Day closed with a birdie at 18 to get even with Scott at -12 and both players were all smiles as they walked off the course. Imagine getting to walk the final 18 holes of the Masters with one of your friends, while playing some of the best golf of your life.
The group behind Scott and Day was KJ Choi, who made a charge of his own before his putter let him down, and Schwartzel. The South African, who I had never heard of before this weekend, played flawless golf on Sunday to win his first Green Jacket.
Despite McIroy’s collapse, this wasn’t a case of Schwartzel playing steady golf while those around him lost their collective heads. On the contrary Sunday saw some of the best final rounds in Masters history, and it was Schwartzel, who closed with four straight birdies, rising to the occassion. On a wild Sunday afternoon, he needed every stroke.
The moral of this Masters story is it does not always pay to be young and in a comfortable lead going into Sunday at Augusta.
Congratulations to Charl Swartzel.
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I would also like to congratulate my older brother Sean who got engaged to his girlfriend Heidi this weekend. Shortly after receiving the good news, my younger brother Brian sent me a picture of the pig he and his friends were roasting, which wasn’t nearly as exciting but made me a little jealous that I am not in college any more.
One is getting married, one is roasting pigs. And then there’s me, somewhere in the middle and enjoying the hell out of it.
——Corey Maloney
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