Bad Teacher was a bad movie.
Cameron Diaz isn’t fit to carry a movie, especially one that has her acting like a lost cast mate from Dazed and Confused. I expected Wooderson to pop up at any moment with a high school girl on each arm. She isn’t believable as a stoner fuck up with less soul than body fat, and what’s worse is that she isn’t funny.
I never liked Justin Timberlake the singer and dancer, but as an actor he has always been solid. Alpha Dog and The Social Network were both better movies because of him. In Bad Teacher he is woefully out of place as an uber-nerd, and his cheesy shtick irritated me before he even opened his mouth. This wasn’t a reach that allowed Timberlake to flaunt his acting chops. It was an example of something that is all too common in Hollywood. They put big names in movies whether they are the right person for the role or not, because big names equal big money.
This same thinking is why there will never be a great hip hop album again. I’m not knocking Jay Z or Kanye, but I’m talking about a classic album that you could listen to from beginning to end without ever skipping a song. Jay Z’s Reasonable Doubt, Wu-Tang’s Enter the Wu-Tang, Tribe Called Quest’s Low End Theory, Tupac’s All Eyez on Me are a few examples. Kanye’s first two albums approached this territory but there has been nothing since that has even come close.
The reason is that there is no money in creating a great album, but there is boatloads of money in creating a marketable single. That is why every hip hop station is inundated with club tracks that become so over played, no obnoxious, that you can’t hear them any more without cringing.
Jay Z’s Empire State of Mind was a great song on a subpar album, and then it was everywhere, to the point that I have to resist the urge to skip it when it comes on.
I live in New York and this would probably get me shipped to Staten Island.
The albums I mentioned before are filled with great songs, songs that you hear today and you still know all the words. They are songs that give you a sense of nostalgia, and make you feel good in a way that today’s hip hop can’t begin to replicate.
Putting Lady Gaga or Justin Beiber on a hip hop song makes money. But it doesn’t necessarily make a great song.
I like Justin Timberlake as an actor but putting him in a crappy role, in a crappier movie, is designed to make money. It’s not going to make a good movie.
Bad Teacher was so bad that 92 minutes felt longer than all three Lord of The Rings movies combined. As my cousin said, “If you’re asking for more Jason Segal, you know you’re in trouble.”
They even made Cameron from Modern Family unlikable, and I thought that was impossible.
The only positive thing I can say about Bad Teacher is that I saw it on Cape Cod, where going to the movies is three or four dollars cheaper than Manhattan.
Don’t waste your money. For the ten to fourteen dollars (depending on where you are), you can get a sandwich, a few beers, and punch yourself in the face a few times.
At least that last part will make someone laugh, which is more than I can say for Bad Teacher.
——-Corey
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