The Weekend Recap: Silver Lining Edition

College football has become harder to watch in recent years.

That was the sentiment my brother and I shared on our way to a camping trip this weekend (More on both in Part 2 of this Labor Day Weekend Recap extravaganza).

The reason?

College sports have forgotten about college.  They are in most cases, a breeding ground for the pros, and the term student athlete usually only applies to the punter, and a maybe few scrubs on special teams.

Then there’s the malfunctioning bowl system that gives us a month worth of games that either we don’t care about, only one team cares about because for them it is like the Super Bowl, one team doesn’t give a shit about because it is an insult to be in the San Diego Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl and they never show up, or a National Championship game that subjects us to a half of sloppy football because both teams have been off for a month.

Think about some of the lasting images from the history of college football.

The band on the field.  Flutie’s hail mary against Miami.  Kordell Stewart’s last second bomb to Michael Westbrook. Oklahoma/Boise State.  Just to name a few.

Now what comes to mind when you think about college football today?

Ohio State players/coaches getting suspended and fired.  The U’s legal troubles.

It’s no wonder that two rabid football fans would be questioning their love of the game.  It’s not nearly as fun to watch a game where the announcers dominate the color commentary with legal mumbo jumbo, and you’re more likely to hear a debate over whether COLLEGE athletes deserve to get paid a salary than one over who runs the best offense.

For those of you out there who feel the same way; I present a Silver Lining edition of the Weekend Recap, in which I will find something positive about all of the games featuring Top 25 teams this past weekend.

1)Oklahome 47 Tulsa 14 – Tom Wort honoring friend, and fallen teammate Austin Box by wearing his number out onto the field was the kind of moment that makes you forget about bull shit like agent scandals.  Oh, and the Sooners’ offense is scary good.

2)Alabama 48 Kent State 7 – A much needed distraction for those devastated by the tornado in Tuscaloosa a few  months ago.

4)LSU 40 3)Oregon 27 – Might make everyone clamoring for a place at the top of the college football mountain for the PAC 10 shut up.

5)Boise State 35 19)Georgia 21 – Might make all those who claim that the SEC is an untouchable super conference shut up.

6)FSU 34 UL-Monroe 0 – Good to see that someone in college football still values defense.  A shutout is the ultimate embarrassment, and some teams will even kick a field goal while down by 40, just to avoid it….

7)Stanford 57 SJSU 3 – Ummmm…..Andrew Luck is good.

8)Texas A&M 46 SMU 14 – There was a prank in Virginia this weekend that involved over 17,000 pairs of women’s underwear.  So Much Underwear, get it?

9)Oklahoma State 61 Louisiana-Layfayette 34 – Do I really need to sell a game that featured 95 points?

10)Nebraska 40 Chattanooga 7 – Taylor Martinez is Tim Tebow 2.0, without all the Jesus jocking and bible thumping, and with a neck.

11)Wisconsin 51 UNLV 17 – The Badgers gave up two late scores, and a cover of the spread, with under five minutes to go.  Immediately after, head coach Bret  Bielema bought a Maserati.  Gambling conspiracies are fun.

12)South Carolina 56 ECU 37 – 93 points, and some ole ball coach hypocrisy as he tried to punish Steven “Joe Kane Jr” Garcia by benching him, only to bring him in in the second quarter after falling behind 17-0.

13)Virginia Tech 66 Appalachian State 13 – Appalachian State stinks again.

Baylor 50 14)TCU 48 – An instant classic.

15)Arkansas 51 Missouri State 7 – You now know that Missouri State has a football team.

South Florida 23 16)Notre Dame 20 – We can get all that, ‘Maybe Notre Dame will be good because they used to be good, and they have cool helmets’ stuff out of the way.

17)Michigan State 28 Youngstown State 6 – Spartan captain Joel Foreman gave up his spot in the starting lineup to Arthur Ray Jr, who had been sidelined since signing in 2007, while he battled cancer in his leg.

18)Ohio State Akron 0 – The Ohio State University didn’t break a single rule, or sell a single jock strap.

20)Mississippi State 59 Memphis 14 – Miss St RB Vick Ballard has one of the coolest names ever.  Hopefully he realizes his potential as a leading man in porn movies.

21)Missouri 17 Miami OH 6 – This game was on at noon, when most of us were hungover and still sleeping.

22)Florida 41 FAU 3 – Gators were pitching a shutout, then heard that Tebow was seen at a synagogue.  They gave up a field goal before realizing they had simply misheard, and he was actually singing gaga.

23)Auburn 42 Utah State 38 – The defending National Champions needed two late touchdowns, AND an onside kick recovery, to beat the Aggies.  No not those Aggies.  The ones from Utah State.  I’d say overrated, but I don’t like to gossip.  So you ain’t heard that from me!

24)West Virginia 34 Marshall 13 – After this rain shortened affair, I know what Article 3a, 3b, and 3c in the college football rule book are.

25)USC 19 Minnesota 17 – USC finally ran out of illegally signed players, and I’ve finally run out of snarky things to say.

Until later on that is, when I unveil Part 2 of The Weekend Recap, the My Favorite Things edition.


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