(Every Tragedy Needs a Soundtrack)
I am usually the last one to complain.
But I gotta say something. Today, I rolled out of bed, and knew it was going to be a bad day. You ever just have one of those days? Well this little treat of day went something this:
Wake up at 8:45am. Had the cell phone alarm set for 8:00am…oh…phone was on silent. Had to scramble to my car and speed to the dining hall to make breakfast check by 9:00.
Got there, thought I could salvage the morning by having my favorite breakfast: 4 eggs scrambled with cheddar, sausage, and onion, side of oatmeal, and a banana. Well let’s break this scene down for you. Line for “eggs to order” about 6 miles long. Oatmeal…gone. Bananas…all green. So unless I wanted to wait 45 minutes for eggs that I was already too agitated to enjoy, without oatmeal, but with a surplus of unripened bananas, I was gonna have to settle for a bagel and some Golden Grahams. I was pissed.
Did I mention I forgot we had to lift today? Yeah, sat down to breakfast and was reminded by Anthony Sherman. Had to go pull the sled. Tremendous. So after clawing my way through the late lift, I went to go get some lunch, forgot I had media obligations, and had to eat in our dining hall. Which isn’t awful but I’m kinda fat, and since my terrible breakfast debacle I had my gluttonous brain set on a chicken breast sub from Subway. I bit the bullet, did my interviews (which were actually the highlight of my day) and went to practice.
I proceeded to drop my practice clothes in the only puddle in the entire facility, lose my knee braces, and misplace my gloves all in about a period of about 15 minutes. Went to meetings; didn’t have my gameplan binder.
I blurred my way through practice, dragging ass the entire time. I just couldn’t flip the switch.
I slipped in the shower. Awesome. Turned the shower on. No hot water. Even better. I got back to my locker…someone took my towel. Someone is screwing with me. Karma is a bitch; I swear Lou Holtz is casting a spell on me for what I said about him. You know what? I’m sorry I’m not sorry, Lou. You still sound like Sylvester the Cat.
Or maybe it’s the Wahoos from UVa, upset that I came at their seersucker, collar-popping, pearl-wearing student section.
(Did I mention my dog chewed my glasses?)
Whatever it is, today the world conspired against me. Well guess what, World? I’ll be back tomorrow to see what you got in store for me. Perhaps you’ll burn my house to the ground or kick my dog? You stay classy, World. Today was unfair, but tomorrow is a new day, and I get to be a part of it.
Just don’t screw with my breakfast again.
Truly abysmal. Perhaps singularly so.
If Holtz had one of those devices that the guys in Scream used.. would it come out as slobber talk as well? Or if he had a Tracheotomy.. would it just spit out his neck like a sprinkler?
Good job Rob! I think there might be a book in your future provided we can get “spell check” on your computer and your own personal editor to check grammar lol. The content is A+.
See you in Louisville. I am leaving the campaign trail for 48 hours. GO HUSKIES
love, dad
Next time I won’t use our campaign website e-mail monitored by “Kathy”…..Sorry about that…..Anyway, good job Rob! I think there might be a book in your future provided we can get “spell check” on your computer and your own personal editor to check grammar lol. The content is A+.
See you in Louisville. Mom and I are leaving the campaign trail for 48 hours. GO HUSKIES
love, dad
How funny – I have a dog (wheaten terrier) named Kiera as well, and she has devoured two pairs of my sunglasses in the past month. Maybe there’s something about the name.