Your Questions…ANSWERED

So I posted that I would answer your questions regarding UConn Football. I said I would answer the Top 10 questions. I have been humbled. I only got about 16 emails. (Again, thanks Mom for the last 5.) Anyway, I have copied and pasted from the emails, and I’ll give it my best shot.

1.Your dad wants some more love. Straight from the Judge’s mouth: “It would be nice, however if you gave a few kudos to your dad, who selflessly drove you to all those 5:00 a.m. hockey practices. Even your coaches mentioned that it improved your speed and footwork.” So how about it, can you give the old man some props and plug his website?

Dear Dad,
Stop being selfish. Yes you made me, clothed me and fed me (no small task) for 18 years. Yes you’ve made it to every home game and all but one away game since my freshman year (even when I wasn’t playing). Yes you have loved me unconditionally and been my greatest role model (well…you AND Burt Reynolds). But who the heck do you think you are? Don’t think I’ve forgotten about that time you “lost” my paintball gun in the move. Or when you yelled at me for pushing my sister(s) down the stairs (they deserved it). For this reason I simply cannot support your candidacy for Supreme Court Judge. Even though you have been in the legal profession for over 30 years and you are the only candidate rated Highly Qualified by the Monroe Country Bar Association. I simply will not compromise my journalistic integrity, nor violate the trust of my followers by putting shameless plugs on this blog. Also, if you are going to post on fan sites, a more discrete handle other than “HuskyDad65” might be in order.

2. I’m curious about the relative babe-magnetism of different positions on the team. Everybody assumes that QBs get all the chicks- but is that really true? How do different positions compare? Linemen vs. skill positions vs. kickers vs. special teams etc…

Well, that’s a great question. And I think I have a good answer. Sure, our QBs clean up, with their sharp jaws and chiseled abs. But I’d think you’d be surprised to find that most linemen have very attractive girlfriends, if they have girlfriends at all. I know that I am a personal testament to the rule of over-achieving-fat-white-guys. Seriously, my girlfriend is way out of my league. (See below)

But I think linemen do well because, like many-a-fat chick, we may never have been the best looking or most athletic guys, so by the rules of Bar-Darwinism we were forced to develop a personality, lest we rely solely on our marginal good looks, and thus starve in this proverbial survival of the fittest. They say that if you can make a girl laugh you make her do anything. Even date a fatty. Also, being taller or bigger than our teammate counterparts gives us an automatic conversation starter. Hang around with Dan Ryan for a while and just count how many random “beautiful babies” come up to him (after a few wobbly-pops) and regale him with estimates of his height. Seriously, Mike Hicks, Alex Lamagdalaine, Steve Brouse all have hot girlfriends. Cody Brown is currently dating a girl that is a better athlete than him, and beautiful none the less. Same to Julius Williams and Brandon Dillon. I’d like to make this comparison if I could (and I can). Sure a Porsche is fast and fun to drive (read DBs, WRs, LBs, RBs) but a truck is reliable and will get you through all seasons (DTs, DEs, OL). Good question. Next, please.

3.The women’s basketball team attends most home football games. Which other UCONN teams’ games do you and other football players attend?
I blame Title IX, but by-golly if there were a Division I badminton team on campus, I’d be their number one fan. (Insert immature shuttle-cock joke here…heheh..shuttle cock). Seriously though, we go the the women’s and men’s basketball games, as well as women’s lacrosse and soccer. They are nasty. (In a good way.)

4. This Question Comes from our friends at Burnt Orange Nation My name is Peter Bean and I run Burnt Orange Nation, a blog dedicated to Texas Longhorns sports. I also go to law school with your very awesome sister at Notre Dame Law School. The question I’d love to hear your thoughts on is: Do you think college athletes in revenue-producing sports should be paid?

First off, stop hitting on my sister (kidding…but seriously, stop). I may be inciting a little bit of controversy here. But the answer is yes, I do think college athletes should be paid. Let me riddle off some un-researched statistics for you. We get a free education (if we are on scholarship), which is valued at around $125,000 (for 5 years). Universities makes millions of dollars in ticket revenues, merchandising, television appearances (gotta love Wednesday night ESPN). Not to mention priceless exposure for our respective schools through bowl games and national rankings. You can order players’ jerseys online or buy them in the book store. But because there is no name on the back, players aren’t being exploited? At UConn, our game jerseys don’t have our names on the back, so I’d say that’s pretty authentic. But there is some myth in college football that the NCAA and purist fan would like to hold on to: that college athletics (save the Olympics) is the last true form of amateurism. That’s an unfair and simply untrue label. The NCAA only wants us to be amateurs when it suits them, just as they only want us to be “Student-Athletes” when it benefits them. What part about being a “student” means missing all your classes on a Tuesday, missing all your classes on a Wednesday, returning at 4am on Thursday, and then being expected to make all of that day’s classes–all for the sake of a random Wednesday night game? So what do I suggest? Hold money for players from whom the University profits off their likeness (jersey sales) until after they graduate. And give players a stipend that allows them to live a normal college life outside of football. Holding a job and playing Division I is simply not an option. But some of my teammates can’t afford to go out on the weekends or order food on a Saturday night. I don’t wanna paint a picture of the “unfortunate athletes” because we do get a lot of benefits (free gear, best food, chartered planes…oh, and…free education), but I believe that it is the right thing to do.

5. bracket vs. bowl game

Dear Sir, next time word this as an actual question. This is blogging, not Vietnam, there are rules. What I think you are trying to ask is, which system would I prefer? I prefer bowl games, it rewards teams for their hard work and is good exposure for recruiting and the University. But I do think there should be a 6-team playoff to determine the National Champion.

6.“Dear Rob, I noticed while reading the recaps from various games this weekend, including the overall ‘Game Day Fina,’, that when a team like Oklahoma, Alabama, Notre Dame, etc. makes a goal line stand or picks off a pass, that it’s regarded as a stingy or aggressive defense. However, if the Huskies do the same, it was a “bad throw” by the opposing QB, or a missed assignment by the offensive line. What are your thoughts on this?”

Great question. GREAT QUESTION. UConn Football does not care what others think of UConn Football. UConn Football will keep doing UConn Football until due credit is received. Even then UConn Football is not satisfied. UConn Football does not sleep, UConn Football waits until next Saturday, when UConn football can again prove the haters wrong. Only UConn Football knows how important and talented UConn Football is. Only those inside UConn Football Know how hard UConn Football works. Only UConn Football’s opinions matter to UConn Football. (I am Jack’s Smirking revenge)

7. Are You Single?
Please see “over-achieving-white guy” above for further assistance. (Yes, my girlfriend emailed me this question.)

8. I was wondering who in the locker room is the enforcer vs. who is the prankster. Also does anyone on campus recognize you and ask for your autograph?

Hmmm… Cody Brown and Lindsey Witten are definitely clowns. Ellis Gaulden is a dancing fool. Anthony Sherman is definitely the enforcer type (think Pesci from Casino) I have been asked for my autograph, but never by anyone beyond the age acceptable to order a happy meal.

9. What would you do for a Klondike bar?

I can tell you what I wouldn’t do. Nothing, I love those delicious treats.

10. I’ve always wanted to know if Head
Coach Randy Edsall has his own private barber shop inside the Burton
complex. His hair is always looking in tip top shape while on the
sidelines. I assume he is getting a haircut at least once a week. With
all the preparation he does for every opponent, how does he find the
time to keep himself so well groomed?

Actually, Coach Edsall’s hair is so scared of getting a 6am punishment run that it cuts itself.

Talk to you later. Hope you enjoyed Ts from a FWG.

Readers Comments (13)

  1. “single” is a relative term, single also means “not married”

  2. Rob:

    Thanks for the great Q&A. By the way. You really can't get any numbered jersey you want.

    It's amazing that I've only seen #'s 1,2,3,4 and I think 7. (I bought 3 for me and 4 for my wife)

    You'd think that any number would be available from a licensed vendor but it is not the case.

    Big money can be made if there was only a company that could get it done.

    Sounds like a business opportunity waiting for a smart DL getting ready to graduate. (grin)

  3. No way Jimmy, Rob should go into journalism and cover UConn sports here in CT. That or try and get into ESPN and be the voice of reason with those clowns.

    UConn football coverage is gradually getting better in CT, but is no where near where it should be. A like able and humorous guy like Rob could do wonders for the perception of the program, especially here in CT. Lunn-sung hero is proof enough…

  4. Thanks for answering, sir. Couldn’t agree more. But better to get it from the horse’s mouth…

    As for your sister, I wouldn’t worry. After she accidentally locked herself in a closet during class last week, she’s probably going to have trouble scoring a date for a while.

  5. I know Peter Bean, and I can tell you this–watch out for the guy. He’s smoother than a peanut butter on the balls of a lonely man with multiple pets. The guy is a pimp.

    By the way, I just heard of your site today when it was linked from EDSBS. I can tell you that I’ll be back. Great writing, and keep it up. Good luck this season.


  6. Great blog man.

    I went to ND, but I hail from Fairfield, CT (Exit 44 on the merritt, represent), and it’s been great to see the Huskies growing as a program. Hope you guys go down and lay some wood on the Tar Heels next week, since the Irish get them the week after. Keep up the good work.

  7. Dear pb at bon,

    NOT fair. First of all, I was locked in a hallway, not a closet. And secondly, that little incident was supposed to stay between the members of our Thursday night class– not online for the world to see!! But, I’m glad I could provide some classroom entertainment.

    And, on the contrary, several people at the bar Thursday night used my oh-so embarrassing moment as a conversation starter, hahaha.

    -Rob’s (much smaller) big sister

  8. I was locked in a hallway, not a closet.

    Good save, lawya.

  9. Found my way over here from EDSBS…kudos on a great blog.

    As a former OL/overachieving fat white guy in the dating department, I can support your position on these matters with first-hand knowledge.

    As long as girls love their Daddies (not in THAT way, you pervs), the double standard of girth will be our friend.

    Great job, and Go Huskies!

  10. I found my way here from the ESPN blog… now hopefully your ‘rents won’t have to refresh too many times to keep up your hit counter. :)

    Anyhow, great job on the blogs, enjoy the insight to the work you and the whole team put in…


  11. Hilarious blog Rob, have to stop reading during class for sure.

    Go Huskies!
    Go Bills!

  12. I was ready to complain for short-changing me for the photographic credit for the picture I took of you and your beautiful girlfriend, but having read your response to your father’s well deserving plea for some honorable mention, I called off the dogs.

    You friendly family photographer.

    PS. Mrs. photographer wants to know how your middle school choral education help shape you as UCONN Husky?

  13. Kudos on the girls comment. Who really needs a guy with abs when big arms can surely carry your drunk ass anywhere you need to go!!



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