Unlike the mainstream media who has been denied access to our fabled Notre Dame transfer, I, being his teammate and friend, have the exclusive rights to this interview– the one that the entire world (or most of Connecticut) has been waiting for.
But before we get into that, I want to talk about some stuff I’ve been reading in the press lately. I’ve heard Coach Edsall referred to as the “Congenial Dictator,” for refusing access to our new starting quarterback. I’m sure some people have even been thinking up worse names and puns for the headman to fatten up articles that, as for now, are blatantly empty of Zach Frazer quotes.
Sorry guys, I got to agree with the headman on this one. I’ve read some of the detractors, who’ve said that it is unfair to keep Zach out of the media. I’ve heard that it’s unjustified because “it’s not like he’s a freshman” (hey– he reads at a junior level, FYI). Also, I read that Edsall should have let him talk because he’s been available before, after he transferred to UConn from South Bend. I also read this little tidbit…that the “Division I experiment is still young for UConn, WE NEED ACCESS TO FRAZER” (you know, for the good of the program… definitely not for the byline). No, you don’t, and back in 2002 I’d say the experiment was young (“this night is still in diapers, baby”)…but two bowl appearances, a Big East title, and several Huskies in the NFL later, I’d say this “experiment” is less like a youngen and more like a dapper 22 year old. Let me make one thing clear.
Prior to last Saturday morning, Zach had never been the starter for a D-I football team, not to mention an undefeated one, or one ranked in the Top 25. He’s getting his first start, on the road, against a very good ACC team. So the last thing my pal needs is to be answering questions on a Tuesday about how he feels about filling Tyler’s shoes (size 13…that’s right, ladies). Zach has been looking great all week and hitting the film harder than ever. Zach has a cannon for an arm (and a head like Johnny Bravo). He’s also the only kid I know that is so obsessed with cars, he put a racing stripe…on the wall of his dorm room. (Atta boy Zach, you just won the “NASCAR Dad” demographic; Barack is already jealous.)
Without further ado, my interview with Zach Frazer:
(Coach Edsall Approved)
Fat White Guy: How do you feel about your first start?
Zach Frazer: No comment.
FWG: Would you say that you’re nervous?
ZF: No comment.
FWG: How do you respond to those in the blogging community who say you resemble Johnny Bravo?
ZF: No comment.
FWG: Do you think Coach Edsall and Coach Ambrose will utilize your arm, or stick with handing off to Downtown Donny Brown against UNC?
ZF: No comment.
FWG: How do you feel knowing that former QB DJ Hernandez forces his girlfriend (now fiancee…congrats, Jennifer) to read him this blog every night (as a bedtime story)?
ZF: Kinda sad…and creepy.
FWG: Who would you say is the cutest member of the defensive line?
ZF: Probably Rob Lunn.
FWG: Oh, stop it. With these scrawny arms?
ZF: They’re not scrawny….they’re nice.
Well there you have it, all the questions echoing through the college football world, answered.
Some final thoughts:
UConn needs a 24 hour diner. I know what you’re thinking, “As if he wasn’t fat enough?” I can’t deny that, but still, we need one.
My 8th grade chorus teacher reads this blog. Nicest lady ever? Yes. Can I carry a tune? No.
I may have taken the first step toward putting my foot in my mouth about ESPN coverage of UConn football. I was interviewed about the blog the other day, by none other than the ESPN Bloggist (word?) covering the Big East.
However, I was beginning to warm up to the boys in Bristol when I received a flaming bag of poo on my doorstep. Hell hath no fury like an anchor scorned; I’ve got my eyes on you, Lou Holtz.
Steve Brouse and Tyler Lorenzen are coming along nicely. We’re thinking of entering them in a three-legged race.
UNC tape is showing one consistent theme: they have a VERY talented offensive line. The thing about evaluating offensive lines is that, they can have all the athleticism in the world, but not be successful (read: UVa). What binds a good offensive line is game experience, toughness, and leadership. UNC has this and then some. Should be a tremendous challenge.
It’s late; I’ll probably check in once more before game day.
Just finished my resume, who’s ready to hire me?