St. Patrick’s Day

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So every St. Patrick’s day, as consistent as gravity, my buddy Kevin McGuigan undoubtably sends me an email telling me “Happy St. Patrick’s Day” I inevitably call him a drunk, he calls me fat, and we have a good laugh. But not before I remind him that St. Patrick was born in a Roman province, and is actually Italian. I then spend the rest of the day with a shit-eating grin on my face knowing that, “all the Irish have is a holiday celebrating an Italian.” However, in honor of the highest-Irish-holiday I have decided to compile a list of the most famous Irish athletes. along with the help of my Irish roommate, Ryan McGuire.

Do you know what happens when you do a Google search for “greatest Irish athletes.” A grainy picture of the most obscure boxer in history comes up. So I’ve decided to make him number one. John Lawrence (J.L.) Sullivan, He also was the first heavy weight champion ever of “Gloved Boxing.” Coincidentally, he was also the last heavy weight champion of “Bare Knuckle Boxing.” The jury is still out on how he did in “drunken-Irish-boxing” but the smart money is on “good” to “very good.”

Let’s hear it for the Irish guys who have made good. Forget the Super Bowl rings. His off the field accomplishments are more impressive. Bridget Moynahan? Giselle Bündchen? (yeah that’s a benefit of being in Austria, I can make the “ü”). I hate to put him this high on the list seeing as he is neither fat, nor unathletic. But despite his chisselled jaw, the girls he gets are still out of his league.

Listen, I don’t know if Larry Bird is actually Irish. But he played for the Celtics, so I am going to write him a pass. The guy shamelessly peddled Miller Lite and McDonald’s affectionately winning the heart of every red blooded American*. Besides, isn’t “everyone Irish on St. Patricks day?”
(*Much in the same way that I deny that Steve Nash is a Canadian)

The original Bad Boy of tennis (or the only bad boy of tennis?) John McEnroe comes in at number 4. His on the court antics, and off the court boozing make him a FWG fan favorite. I’d have put him higher, but he played tennis. Johnny Mac, can I borrow those short shorts?

The world’s greatest power lifter, David Banner. Irish through and through. Demolishing tanks? Impervious to bullets, bombs and other means of destruction? I think the IRA should start recruiting. Think about it, gets angry and is green on the inside. Those are Irish traits, friend. The Hulk is Irish. The end.