Miami’s trifecta and the demise of humanity

snooki-240“I wore one-piece suits when I was really skinny to hide my nakedness in a sexy way. I think they are more provocative because it makes guys want to see more of me.” []

Huh, you don’t say. Maybe try talking less.  And as for the strict tequila/Taco Bell diet (we’ve all been there), do us all a favor and follow it up with two fingers or toothbrush handle.

Now that the Heat’s notched good King James, it makes perfect sense to just let the rest of the city go to crank.  And invite Jersey Shore to film its second season for some quality GTL time (gym, tan, laundry).  Excited or nauseous for the Season 2 premier?  Can’t quite tell.  Ever since Enrique Iglesias promised his ‘fans’ he’d “get drunk and ski naked” in Miami’s very own Biscayne Bay if Spain won the World Cup, all the hype has got me feeling like a pre-season Bills fan.  Like I just want to open a case of Bud Light and drown my hopes for the future (which will hit me in about two weeks).

Congratulations, Miami on your pop culture trifecta/nightmare and on becoming the cesspool of America!

xoxo The Rook

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