Dear Governor Rendell….

Governor Rendell,

I have no problem with you lamenting the wussification of America. Just look at all those in the airline business who failed to man up and do their job this week. I mean, honestly, what’s a little snow, and a little gale force wind to real men?

I also have no problem with you showing no concern for your constituents, most of whom would have been stranded had they attended the game on Sunday night. These are hard-nosed Philadelphians. If a few feet of heavy snow is going to keep them from rooting for their beloved Eagles, they should move to Arizona and play shuffle board while watching the Cardinals. You don’t want people who think with their heads in your town do you? Neither do I.

You want knuckleheads who would blindly travel into a blizzard to watch their team don’t you? You want men and women who will then abandon their cars when the weather gets worse, and then call out of work on Monday because they don’t have transportation don’t you? You want constituents who don’t care to contribute to their anemic economy by actually showing up for work, don’t you? I couldn’t agree more. After all, what good is a thriving economy if we are not perceived to have the biggest pair on the block?

As much as it saddens me that you brought up the ever expanding gap between Americans and the Chinese, I have no problem with that either. Like you, I don’t know one football fan who would trade their beer and hot dog for a calculus book. If we are unwilling to better ourselves, and in turn better our country on the way to watch our favorite sport, I guess we truly are a nation of wussies.

What I do have a problem with Ed, I hope you don’t mind if I call you Ed, is that you are limiting yourself. You are clearly a genius. And this once in a generation intellect needs a broader canvas then the governor’s office in order to give the world your own masterpiece, your own Mona Lisa.

Governor of a major city and you still have time to invent words, well sir, I have to say I am in awe of you. I suspect that you have created an entire language haven’t you? Well Ed, let me be the first to say, Bravo. With more minds like you we just might have a chance against those pesky Chinese.

Humbly Yours,

Corey Maloney

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