The Opposite

In order to breakdown Championship Weekend, I am going to embrace an idea employed by a prominent early 90’s philosopher.

“It became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I’ve ever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every of life, be it something to wear, something to eat … It’s all been wrong. I should do the opposite, I should.”

Let’s begin with the AFC Championship between the New York Jets and the Pittsburgh Steelers.

My original thought, my tuna on toast, coleslaw and cup of coffee if you will, was to pick the Steelers. They have a stifling defense and home field advantage. The Jets, who outplayed the Patriots on both sides of the ball last week, didn’t seem to have the same fire this week. They were gushing about the Steelers instead of taunting them and calling them ass holes.

The Steelers also have a seasoned playoff quarterback and are playing the Jets, who I wouldn’t pee on if they were on fire. So instinctually I would have picked the Steelers.

Corey’s Half Assed Prediction: The Steelers control the clock for much of the first half by pounding Rashard Mendenhall. The Jets, behind a big special teams play before the half, keep it close. After the war with Baltimore last week, the Steelers run out of gas in the second half. Sanchez, riding the momentum from last week’s performance, leads the Jets on two scoring drives in the 4th quarter to pull out a win. JETS 23 STEELERS 20

Just a second…hard to type with all this vomit in my mouth…its spilling out onto the keyboard…

Ok moving on.

The NFC Championship features the Chicago Bears hosting the Green Bay Packers.

After watching both teams dismantle their opponents last week, the Packers being far more impressive since they weren’t playing Seattle, I was inclined to go with the home team. The Packers had gone into Philly and Atlanta in the first two rounds and pulling out a third road win in a row seemed too much to ask of Aaron Rodgers.

Rodgers, before the playoffs anyway, would have ranked somewhere between the 7-10th best quarterback in the league. His team almost beat the Patriots in Foxboro without him so it seemed plausible that he was merely a good quarterback on a very good team.

Picking a good quarterback against a really good defense, playing on the road for the third week in a row? Well just as bald men with no jobs, and no money, who live with their parents don’t go up to strange women, I don’t do that.

Also, my girlfriend really likes Aaron Rodgers. Even if the affection stems from having him on her fantasy team all year, I’m not sure how I feel about this. So instinctually I would have picked the Bears.

Corey’s Half Assed Prediction: Rodgers, who showed amazing mobility and uncanny pocket presence against the Falcons, keeps the Bears D on its heels. His performance in the playoffs vaults him right into the debate over who is the best quarterback in the league. Jay Cutler plays like Jay Cutler, and vaults himself over to Denny’s for a Grand Slam Breakfast. The Packers D sets a NFC Championship record with 26 takeaways and this one is over by the third quarter. PACKERS 34 BEARS 17.