The New Abbott and Costello

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There’s a new comedy duo tearing up the airwaves right now so incredibly talented, they don’t even have do be in the same room to deliver pure jocular pleasure.

For a while there, former San Fran Giant Barry Bonds was holding his own in the comedy circuit with his ridiculously laughable HGH trial. Everyone in the world knows Barry knew exactly what he was doing when his head grew into a bobble head and he started hitting baseballs into the ocean. The fact he is trying to convince the world otherwise is nothing short of pure, unadulterated humor.

Seriously Barry, they even got the hat guy taking the stand. People’s heads don’t just grow substantially larger spontaneously at age 35, and if you got the guy who sizes your baseball cap as a witness, you should probably just step away from the whole steroids argument at that particular point in time. But no, Barry continues to forge ahead, and the jokes keep on rolling.

And has there ever been a more quotable witness than the ever-enchanting ex-mistress Kimberly Bell? None come to mind. With all the witness chair gossip Kimberly delivers about Barry’s deformed, shrunken testicles and limp wiener as well as the whole he said she said stuff about supposedly someone cutting someone else’s head off and leaving the body in a ditch thing, Ms. Bell has turned into a regular Wanda Sykes.

Although Barry was doing quite well on his own stand-up tour, the Rocket recently decided to take the faux homerun champ’s side to complete the power combo and start down a road paved with comedic gold.roger-clemens-p1-si2

Hoping-for-the-Hall Roger Clemens decided to put himself out there in the media for apparently no obvious reason and announced he’s itching to defend himself in trial. For a while people forgot about the Rocket, and apparently no one in his camp advised him that was a good thing.  Uncomfortable without the limelight, the cowboy Clemens made sure he got back on the front page of ESPN.com by talking about storming into that courtroom for a full on battle with those big city lawyers. That people, is nothing short of hilarious honky tonk justice.

Who’s on first? Certainly not Bonds or Clemens, at least not for a long time. It doesn’t appear as if either of the two chuckleheads is going to be honored on a baseball diamond anytime soon.

—-Seth Newton

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