The Tampa Bay Rays signed former Red Sox World Champs Manny Ramirez and Johnny Damon this off-season in an attempt to capture some of their loveable “idiot” magic from the team of 2004, but in a small sample of games already this season, it’s GM Andrew Friedman and the rest of Tampa’s front office who may be the true idiots for signing the latter, a 38, soon-to-be 39-year old slugger (who also, by the way, has been linked to steroids as recently as 2009).
The best move Tampa ever made, even trumping their decision to draft Evan Longoria with the third pick in the 2006 draft, was bypassing any thought of placing Manny in the outfield by plopping him directly in the designated hitter role. Manny positively will go down as the only major league player to ever put out a full-length blooper DVD made entirely out of his own blunders. Manuel’s left field slapstick is great entertainment to watch while the Benny Hill theme song plays in the background, but it turns your stomach when his fielding faux pas are actually affecting your team.
But this time Manny’s problems are coming from an unlikely source. As of right now, Manny has hit 1 for 16 with an impressive batting average of .063. It bears repeating. .063. Not exactly the production a team is looking for from their DH and cleanup hitter. What’s worse, after only a few games into the season, Manny already needs a break. The first four games at DH have been taxing on his old bones, and apparently there’s also a pressing family matter to attend to (Heyyyyy, wait a minute…isn’t Manny’s cousin a swing coach?).
Joe Maddon is already doing his best to calm the waters by telling the media he gave his four-hitter the break, when everyone knows Manny probably left on his own because Manny always does want Manny wants. This is a routine the Red Sox knew all to well and they eventually cut ties when the bull became too much. Shockingly, Tampa didn’t take the hint and felt like learning the hard way.
After striking out for the third time in Tuesday’s 5-3 loss to the Angels, Manny was booed back to the dugout by the Tampa faithful (those words don’t seem to go together). Since it prompted a two-game sabbatical, apparently Ramirez was taken aback by the razzing. Manny must not have thought the public would ever get tired of his lackadaisical personae, even after he stopped raking balls out of the park. When you look lazy and smash baseballs, people still love you. When you look lazy and get one hit in your first sixteen at-bats, people want you off the field immediately.
Or this could be just another classic case of the Rays being the Devil Rays.
—–Seth Newton
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