Although vastly outnumbered, there are a few critics out there who say Lebron James will never win a NBA championship because, unlike Michael Jordan, basketball has never been the King’s sole focus. They argue Lebron has too much going on off the court and these other activities detract from his overall game.
Upon closer inspection though, the minority of naysayers may have a valid point. Let’s take a look at some of Lebron’s distractions outside of basketball just within the last week, shall we?
“THE LEBRON’S” DEBUTS – This shamelessly self indulgent cartoon has been in the works since Lebron and his people decided it would be a good idea to make a spin-off of his similar Nike commercial that came out a couple years ago. It isn’t certain how much James has been involved in the creation of this show, but one would have to guess at least a little based on the plot. The web-released toon centers around the lives of four different people, who all happen to be different versions of Lebron (huh?). Although receiving unfavorable reviews, “The Lebron’s” does offer valuable life lessons for your children such as learning how to refer to yourself in the third person.
LEBRON TEAMS WITH RED SOX OWNERS, CLAIMS STAKE IN LIVERPOOL – Fenway Sports Management has signed a long-term deal with Lebron James to secure marketing and sponsorship deals in the future. Included in the King’s signing bonus was a tiny piece of ownership in the Liverpool soccer club. After James did a perfect job of destroying his own image last summer, it made a whole lot of sense for Lebron to team up with the owners who reversed the curse and turned the Yankee punching bag into a marketing wonder. But why would John Henry and the others bring Maverick Carter (the infamous architect of “The Decision) on board? Doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, but regardless, this has to be taking some of Lebron’s precious time away from his Heat teammates.
MAMA JAMES ARRESTED FOR ASSAULTING VALET – Okay, we should give him a pass on this one. You really can’t blame Lebron for his drunken mother bitch-slapping the innocent bystander who parked her Escalade, but no one can downplay the significance of the poor timing. Lebron looks exhausted after a long season of having to answer the same questions about team chemistry. The absolute last thing he needed a week before the debut of the playoff Heatles were questions about his mother being arrested for not knowing how to properly conduct herself while publicly intoxicated. Based on her previous run-ins with the law, Gloria James has had a lot of practice and should have been a pro at it by now. This was a distraction no one saw coming and was no fault of the King, but somehow it seems to be par for his course. And if James really wanted to keep basketball and his personal life separate, he didn’t do himself any favors by sending a Miami Heat employee to pick his sauced mother up from the police station.
The Heat had a bad loss to the reeling Bucks Wednesday night and the whispers from the Miami media have only gotten louder as the season has inched closer to the playoffs. The Celtics, who have taken 2 of 3 against Miami, taking their talents to South Beach on Sunday won’t help matters. The King and crew seem to be able to put up five-game losing streaks just as easy as winning ones, which is not exactly a great formula for advancing to the Finals.
If the Heatles have any shot of winning the whole thing, they’ll need to figure out a way to stop the cartoons and soccer balls from becoming Lebron’s Yoko Ono.
—-Seth Newton
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