Listen, this blog has given you plenty of catch phrases: Remember “Bar-Darwinism” or “Porkfully.“ Well, those are actually being trademarked as we speak. In the meantime, I’d like to give you my latest: The Principal hold. How this came to be, I’m sure will soon be the stuff of legend, but here’s how it all went down:
My Dad, bless his heart, is gracefully sliding into senility. In this his slow descent into ineptitude, he often forgets little things: where he left his keys, what day of the week it is, where his son lives and works. You know, the small stuff. Well, on one such occasion over baseball and beers, he asked me where I was working in Boston. I told him NESN. To which he replied, “No, no. That other place.” To which I said “The Place.” To which he said “Yeah, whats the name.’ Well in your classic “Who’s on first” bit, I tried to inform him that the Bar’s name was called “The Place”—yes proper noun–try and keep up.
He then asked me if I ever roughed anyone up. To which I denied, although I did say i had to walk some guy out a few weeks back, and he was so drunk he was like a gradeschooler. He asked me if gave him the old heave-ho. I told him, No, the place I worked at was a bit more upscale then the Double Deuce.
I said I walked him out like this. I proceeded to grab my Dad’s arm under the arm pit, lifting him up, and walking him towards the door. Then it dawned on me: Drunk guy acting like a 6th grader? Holding his arm? BOOM! ….THE PRINCIPAL HOLD IS BORN!
Go forth, my sons, and use it wisely. Just remember, FWG assumes no liability. I want all the credit, with none of the blame….just so we’re clear.
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