I woke up to this reader e-mail today. Yes, I woke up @ 10:30. He shall remain decidedly anonymous.
Subj: FML for FWG
I’m low on laundry, at the bottom of the boxer drawer is the boxer briefs, those are for special occasions, tight pants, or im out of everything else. Briefs get a flag for encroachment so I opt for the extra pow pow pat to the balls in the am. Crowd control is all planning gents.
I pounded water and coffee on the way in, its a long ride… get into work and shoot to the bathroom. Walk out of the bathroom and meet up with some guys to go grab another cup of coffee, as normal.
Down in the cafe for about 10 mins with my VP and a few others, and I am introduced to the new CFO, awesome.
Get back upstairs and have to take a leak, again. Run to the bathroom, and see myself in the mirror, i look at my fly, and see that there is a “murder scene” outline of where my balls had been resting from when i took a leak earlier. as if someone dusted my pants for ball prints, there they were. All the while thinking, “yes excellent to meet you sir”.
“….Just went to the bathroom, and again examined how this misfortune could have occured. During my test, some powder touched my dark grey pants, not nearly as bad as the murder scene, but still noticeable, therefore I applied water,water makes wet pants
solution: “kids/Handicap” hand dryer
perfect, except for the fact that some guy walked in behind me (which i didnt notice due to the loud noise of an inventor named Mr. Dyson)
…..this man saw me scrunched down, pelvis forward drying what he probably assumed was piss