A Slow Week…Means More Fun for You

Not much to write about as far as UConn v. Cincinnati.
Keys to this game (as far as UConn is concerned) will be running and stopping the run. People have been speculating about the health of Zach Frazer. Let me say this, where he is now is far better than where he was. Where was he you ask? (I’ll be asking the questions here, sir…) After the Rutgers game, not even Zach knew.

Other utterances in the post-game havoc?

“Did I throw a pick?”
“Did we win?”
“Where’s Rob Lunn, I wanna give him a back rub.”
(The answers to said questions? No, No, and “A little easier on the shoulders next time, Champ.”)

So with Zach’s relative wellbeing assured, fans of UConn football are probably asking, “Are we gonna air it out? Or will it be good ol’ three yards and a cloud of dust?” With either Cody Endres or Zach in the game the threat of accurate passing is a very real one. But like the previous post, Cinci’s pass rush is nothing to take lightly; I’d argue it’s one of the best in all of college football.

I think that’s it for now.

Oh, what the hell, time for…

Some Final Thoughts:

I’m contemplating writing a strongly worded letter to the pork industry. How would it go? Dear Pork Industry, Delicious. Baked, barbecued, broiled…friiiiied? They all please me equally. With such consistent performance, my stomach thanks you (and my arteries hate you). Love always, and porkfully yours, FWG

Did Lou Holtz really compare Rich Rodriguez to Hitler? C’mon Lou, you’re making this almost too easy for me.

FWG has already ordered his Halloween costume. Being bald limits your options considerably (don’t judge me). It’s either cue ball, Judge Mills-Lane, or anyone 65 years of age or older. We’ll see.

UConn has a planetarium. I’ve never been, but I hear it’s real nice. (If you’ve been, please contact me, TheFatWhiteGuy@gmail.com.)

If your girlfriend ever tells you she is comfortable with you farting in front of her… approach this situation with caution (extreme caution if you are 285lbs+). Let’s chalk it up to me taking one for the “team.” Don’t do it. It will only end badly (“the type of fart that could end a marriage…“).

Readers Comments (3)

  1. that’s a great Carlin clip. the wife does appreciate that I have the ability to leave the room before I echo one around the house… at least I toxify an atmosphere she is not currently breathing…

  2. Nice win, sir. Nice. Freaking. Win.

  3. I believe, good sir, that you should ensure that your girlfriend does not produce toxic gas, because Maddox knows that women’s flatulence does not smell pleasant, either. My significant other and I can attest to the fact that, indeed, my wind will destroy any linebacker’s. Any day.


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