It is cruise season and I’m on detox. There is a bikini hanging from every kitchen cabinet of my parent’s house. Keeping me honest. No carbs. Lemon and water. I don’t know why people would ever do this…the days have blurred together and today I yelled at the Christian missionaries handing out granola bars with their fliers. But in my last ditch efforts to diesel down, I’ve resorted to sitting in my beachwear for ‘dinner’ [aka giant bowl of leaves] this Tuesday night. Naturally I’ve had Biggest Loser episodes OnDemand for times like this.
And who else but Tony Romo steals the show with this one-liner:
“I tried to get across what an inspiration these people are — not just to their families, but to anyone who’s struggling with a challenge,” he said. “It’s a fantastic show with a great message.”
My challenge is hiding under some tin foil in the fridge with 2 layers of frosting. But we they have been starving themselves for weeks. You are one of 32 starting QBs in the NFL. And I…I mean…they were expecting more of a Tony Perkis/Heavy Weights production with some spandex, headbands, and a lecture on “Evaluation…key word, ‘value’ – do you have any? Not yet.” Search their cabins for deli meats and candies! Cancel lunch due to their lack of hustle (and tell them to deal with it)! You’re now their dear old Uncle Tony!At least muster up your best impression of a Drew Brees 4th quarter Super Bowl Speech. C’mon T…dig a little deeper.
But Tony, now that you have truly touched the Loser’s lives, you need to take time to focus on you – Tony Romo: the man behind the helmet. The FWG Network is arranging for you to be the next Bachelor; to complete your soul. After which, Dancing With The Stars will scoop ya up for the reality tv trifecta. And next – world peace!
Yes. Romo’s more of a ‘meet me for mimosas in the kiddie pool’ kind of guy anyways. Figures.
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