Good Night Ms. Bliss?




So did anyone ever see Zack schtup Kelly?

They talked. They traded partners. They danced around the obvious. But did they ever actually christen any part of the Bayside campus?


And you know what? They didn’t have to.

They created something great by not doing anything. It was subtle. It entertained us. And it caused us to develop palpable emotions about fictional characters.

Becoming something collectively, and individually recognizable, Zack and Kelly never crossed that line. Maybe it was simply a line that didn’t get crossed at 10am on a Saturday.

Regardless, over time Zack and Kelly built something. It wasn’t always great, and sometimes it frustrated us, but we could see its growth. We were all invested in it.

So they never let it end. They dragged its feet into the no man’s land of the College Years.

It’s like the NFL. It wasn’t supposed to work. They fixed it, changed its name and then, it did. It grabbed all of us and didn’t let go until we genuinely cared. Not just watched, but cared. And now that we do, now that we care more than anyone ever thought that we could, the NFL has us by the balls.

Make no mistake, more people care about football than ever before.

And the NLF wants to fuck the whole thing up by sending it off to college.


We care now, and instead of just slow dancing, hands in a slightly errotic yet respectable place, the NFL wants to end the courtship early.

At the end of The College Years, Zack and Kelly finally get married.

The NFL wants us to front their ticket so they see that wedding. And then pretend they have no idea who we are when we approach them in the bathroom for a cigarette later. 

Because we have become so accustomed to dealing with Zack and Kelly, and their absurdly charismatic Sunday shows, we have mixed feelings.

But the more I hear, the easier it will be to forget, and the easier it will be RSVP to Jesse and Slater’s wedding instead.

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